Shadows Within Shadows
by HecateA
Summary: In which Regulus Black breaks all the rules but it is always Marlene McKinnon's fault—until it isn't.


**Author's Note: **Enjoy!

**Dedication: **Sophie, my Secret Santa over at the Hogwarts forum!

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Hogwarts: **Assignment #10, Ritual & Ceremonial Magic Task #12 Write a fic with one of the following red themes: sacrifice, passion, anger, beauty, or happiness.

**Warnings:** References to sex and nudity; grief; canon character deaths

* * *

**Shadows Within Shadows**

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot,_

_and never brought to mind?_

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot,_

_and auld lang syne?_

_For auld lang syne, my dear,_

_for auld lang syne,_

_We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,_

_for auld lang syne_

-Auld Lang Syne

* * *

"You better make yourself scarce Black, or I'll find a way to get around this annoying little soulmark on my arm," a voice whispered in his ear. He'd have known it anywhere, between the Scottish accent and the way it made just about anything sound sticky sweet.

"Marlene McKinnon," Regulus said, trying to keep his composure and avoid betraying his surprise. She always had a way of sneaking up on him, even when he had reasons to believe that she'd be around. The Order of the Phoenix was as well aware of who their best spy was as the Dark Lord was, and they were both deployed accordingly.

The inconvenient fact that their best spies were soulmates unable to endanger one another, however? Well, they had no way of knowing that either—since either of them revealing such information would endanger the other, something strictly forbidden by the soulmarks on their bodies. And so here they were, deadlocked in their respective positions once again.

"Miss me?" Marlene asked. He turned around to face her and his heart skipped a beat, which may in fact have been the question's answer. She wore a long black evening gown, satin gloves, and a headpiece with a birdcage veil pinned into her hair. The way the fabric hugged her hips before racing down her long legs didn't escape his attention, either.

And what about it? He was a spy—and a good one at that. The Dark Lord's finest. His job was to notice things—the little details around him, the textures of strangers' clothes, the nuances of their motivations and ambitions. And if those details included the fact that Marlene McKinnon always smelled like vanilla and almonds, so be it. It might not be ground-breaking or useful intelligence for his ranks, but it was true.

"Don't you know it, McKinnon," he said. He swirled his drink in its glass before taking a sip. "Now tell me: what brings you here on such a lovely night?"

"Maybe I knew you'd be here," Marlene said. "Maybe I missed you too. You wore the dress robes I like so."

"I don't believe I knew you liked these ones best," Regulus said.

"Well, you don't have to tell me that you like this dress for me to see you looking," Marlene said.

Regulus smiled.

"So what business does the Order of the Phoenix have at the Minister of Magic's New Year's Eve Celebration?" he asked.

"I suspect it's quite similar to that of the Dark Lord," Marlene said. It was her turn to take a sip of her drink—a glass of red wine matching the colour of her lipstick. "Or perhaps diametrically opposed."

Regulus smiled.

"I was sent here to assess the viability of a scheme," Regulus said. He took a sip of his drink again and smiled. "And I found my answer quite quickly now that I know that the Order of the Phoenix is here. You've made my night quite easy from here on out."

"Well that's good news for you. You can enjoy the festivities now, Mr Black."

"And you can head home. I hear the Potters throw quite the New Year's party," Regulus said. Marlene chuckled under her breath. Her remarkably dark and long eyelashes drew his attention to her startling blue eyes.

"I think I'll keep my eyes on you, tonight," she said. The song changed and Marlene looked towards the dance floor before putting down her drink. She extended her hand to Regulus.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm a spy, not a nun, Mr Black," she said. "If I'm to spend New Year's Eve babysitting you and making sure you don't get up to any trouble, then I'd quite like to at least get a dance out of it."

As he processed her words, she opened and closed her hand impatiently, needily.

"It would be rude to keep me waiting," Marlene noted.

"Well, we wouldn't want that," Regulus said, taking her hand in his.

"Not at all," Marlene said. "Especially since you're already wasted so much of my favourite song."

He leaned into the dance, leaned into her, surprisingly easily when they found themselves on the dance floor. Marlene's favourite song hadn't ended by the time she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Happy New Year," she said quietly.

"We're still a few hours away from midnight," Regulus reminded her softly.

"If you don't move your hand up from my waist, I'm not going to make it that long before I find some excuse to drag you away," Marlene said.

Regulus' stomach twisted in on itself. But he didn't move his hand.

"Happy New Year's to you too, Marlene," he said.

The song ended and she pulled away, letting go of his fingertips languidly before walking away. She stopped on her way off the dance floor, looked over her shoulder, and winked.

He didn't make it a single second before following her.

* * *

They were like shadows within shadows. They moved like shades as they went about their business, and moved even more darkly and carefully as they circled each other—which they did. Which they couldn't seem to stop doing. If neither of them could bring back useful intelligence from a mission where their paths crossed given their chronic inabilities to endanger one another, this was what they would do instead. And no matter how hot her mouth felt against him, no matter how soft she was under his hands, and no matter how strongly she pulled at his hair and held him tightly—none of it was happening. That had been clear from the start.

Marlene was holding him against her, and she'd hooked one of her legs over his, as if there was any chance that she would be going anywhere at all. Her fingertips were tracing the long, straight line along Regulus' arm. It was his soul mark; the one that grew when he spent time with Marlene and shrunk when they spent time apart, like a candle burning away. Since the first time they'd met and it had appeared, he hadn't let the mark consume itself into nothingness. He worried about what would happen if he did. Marlene had a similar one, reaching from the outside of her knee to her hip, but he hadn't asked her what she thought. It was better not to think about it, perhaps—not to treat that kind of distance and loss as a possibility.

The soul mark was particularly sensitive and a shiver went up Regulus' body. Marlene laughed, her laugh warming the back of his head.

"I've never seen it quite this long," Marlene said quietly.

"We've never been together quite so long," Regulus said. It was the first time the Dark Lord had sent him so far away—to eavesdrop on an international conference on the control and management of dark witches and wizards held in Zürich.

Marlene, of course, had been there, along with a rotating cast of Order of the Phoenix fighters making sure that everything went as planned. Of course, Voldemort had expected tight security at the event and had decided to use it as an opportunity for reconnaissance, rather than one to make a statement. The Order must have known this, but they were still here. It hit Regulus sometimes, how performative this constant dancing-around-one-another was and how necessary they made it all. This was the realest part of the whole thing.

"It's been nice," Marlene said, looking outside his hotel room window. Streetlights and glowing windows illuminated the night and the soft, unrushed fall of snowflakes. "We shouldn't get used to it."

He turned around to face her, his skin momentarily protesting against the loss of her heat and softness. He reached out and followed the spiral of one of her curls with his arm.

"Of course," Regulus said. "Besides, I can think of much better ways we can use this time, can't you?"

Marlene smiled before sitting up in bed and then pulling her up with him. She cupped his cheek and drew him close for a kiss, smiling against his lips.

"You know just how creative I am," she said.

"Jog my memory," he said.

* * *

"This can't be wrong, can it?" Marlene asked in the dark.

Regulus considered pretending to be asleep, well aware that she knew him and the sound of his breathing too well.

"It doesn't feel what wrong things feel like," Regulus said. _Trust me, _he wanted to add. _I know all about that. _

"My best friend—Lily—she's noticed," Marlene said. "She says I get this glow when someone's making me happy, but here I am and I can't tell her anything but it can't be… it can't be wrong when it's like this, can it?"

Regulus had to stumble (stupidly and happily) past the notion that he made her _glow _before answering.

"We have the soul marks—we physically can't endanger one another, we… we know for a fact that however souls are made, we were cut from the same cloth," he said.

"I don't believe in rules, regardless of whether or not they're destiny," Marlene said. She sat up and let the sheets fall, bearing the candor with which she spoke. "I need something more than a rule telling me that this isn't wrong. That this is more than just _hot. _That I'm not making a mistake, that I'm not betraying everything, that this isn't in my head, that…"

"You, Marlene Adelaide McKinnon, are like a candle in the dark," Regulus said, sitting up and putting his hands on her knees to steady her as she reeled. "You burn hot and steady. You give me a destination to follow and a reason not to get lost. There's only one of you and one of me, and I don't think that's an accident."

That gave her reason to pause, mulling things over.

"You remind me that there's more to the world than the darkness I deal in and more to the darkness than what I deal in," Marlene said quietly.

"Can that be your answer?" Regulus asked. "Even if… even if it's a little impossible?"

He saw her silhouette nod in the dark. Shadows within shadows. Shadows all the way down. How could this still feel so very real?

"Come here," Regulus said. He gathered her against him and gently laid them back down.

* * *

Lazily, Regulus came to his senses. He was laying on his side, facing an empty bed, ruffled pillows, and blankets thrown back. His hand rested on the mattress, arm stretched out but touching nothing.

It wasn't that she woke him up, it was just that this was a wonderful thing to wake up to. The soft sound of singing from the shower, that was. He'd heard rumours that Marlene could sing; some rumours back in the castle even said that she was fae-blooded. He'd just never heard her before, nor had he heard the song she sang:

"_Should night come darker than before, _

_And the stars sharp 'til they cut_

_Should wind blow wild and stiff and cold,_

_I'll know to look for you. _

_For you, my arms are wide, my dear_

_For you, my bed is warm._

_We'll take what love there is to take _

_As the night gets harsher still…" _

Regulus curled in her bed and listened to her sing again and again, the same short song again and again. He snuggled into his pillow and closed his eyes, not to fall asleep again but to listen in even more. He could get used to this. He really, really shouldn't.

But even if you were actively looking for any reason at all to leave your life behind, listening to your soulmate singing in the shower while you took in the smell of her pillow was convincing enough.

Marlene emerged from her bathroom and into her studio apartment wrapped in a towel, giving Regulus the rare opportunity to see her soulmark in broad daylight. Her wet hair was bundled up at the top of her head with a massive clip and new purple nailpolish dotted her toes.

"You're up," she noted.

"Good morning," he said.

"Enjoying the view, are you?" she said amused. She picked up a stray towel lying on the ground and sat at the end of the bed to dry out her hair. Regulus crawled over to be closer to her, flopping on the bed. She laughed and ruffled his hair. Her hand lingered and slipped down to touch his cheek.

"Sometimes I forget how silly of a man I allow in my bed," she said, looking down at him.

"I think it's because we only ever meet like this," Regulus said. "We only… it's only in the heat of moments, when we bump into each other in the night and make a break until morning. It would be different if we—if we had a meal together, a cup of coffee, perhaps. Maybe then I'd have known just how beautifully you sing…"

"Regulus," Marlene said warningly. She got up and walked away towards her vanity, giving Regulus a clear view of her now replenished soul mark. She started the process of getting dressed for work, pulling on a pair of jeans. "I didn't think we needed to discuss it…"

"But if we could…"

"Don't," she said. "Don't say anything that will make this situation more impossible."

"I'm trying to leave them," Regulus said.

At that, Marlene turned back to him. She grabbed a robe hanging off the mirror and tightened it around herself and sat on the end of the bed.

"That," Marlene said. "Say more of that."

"It's difficult," Regulus said. He reached out and took her hands. "But it's more difficult for things to stay like this. I've been trying to think of the best way to do it for a while now."

"Any help you need, I can get you," Marlene said. She reached out and cupped his cheek. "Other than my many talents, the Order can hide you. My family can help you start from scratch. Sirius would be over the moon to have you back..."

Longing tugged at Regulus, who nodded.

"I want that," he said. "But I've made mistakes. I've… I've messed up Marlene, and I don't know if I can ever make up for them but there are things I can do to try and so I will."

"Tell me how I can help," Marlene said.

Regulus shook his head. She was entirely unable of Occlumency; if she ever fell in Death Eater hands, though Regulus prayed she never would, he couldn't risk the discovery of his current theory and the plot he'd hatched after Kreacher had said it all. Yes, Marlene had his mark and his love all over her, but this was a different kind of secret. He trusted her to make her own decisions, but he would not put her in more danger than they were already all in.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, one by one.

"That's a no, then?" Marlene asked.

"I'll earn my place on the right side of history," Regulus said. "I'll earn my place by your side, Marlene McKinnon."

"You already have it," she said.

"And I'll make sure to deserve it," he promised her.

* * *

"McKinnon," Sirius said, swinging open the door and calling out to her from the cottage's relative heat. From inside, Marlene overheard chatter, laughter, a very rowdy drinking game, and the sound of Remus Lupin practising _Auld Lang Syne _on the piano. "Get back inside, there are rumours in there that you'll lose your whole personality if you freeze your arse off."

"Piss off," Marlene said. She wasn't in the mood to see him; could barely stand the sight of another Black boy at the moment. Or anybody else; she didn't care that the wind blew wildly and that the sky was dark enough to make the stars seem more pointed. She'd rather be alone, no matter how harsh the night."I don't need to be babysat."

"I tried warning you…" Sirius said.

He was quickly pushed out of the doorway by Lily, hugging herself against the cold.

"Marlene!" Lily said. "Marlene, sweetheart, it's cold..."

"Go back to the party before someone drinks all that mulled wine," Marlene said.

Lily shut the door behind her with that stubborn caring that Marlene was doing her best to shake off at the moment.

"You love New Year's," Lily said. "And when you were out on Order business last year, you swore that you wouldn't miss another party, ever again."

"I'm here," Marlene said.

"No you're not," Lily said. She bundled her hands inside her sleeves and came to stand next to Marlene. "Ever since that last mission Dumbledore sent you on, you haven't really been. What happened out there?"

"It's confidential," Marlene said shortly.

"I know that Order business is but give me the best friend version," Lily said.

Marlene chewed her lip.

"I don't even know what to say Lily," Marlene answered.

Lily nodded.

"I noticed when we were changing before the party that your soul mark's gone," Lily said quietly.

Marlene took a deep breath. It was gone. And Regulus—well he hadn't been there when she'd expected him to be. When he _should _have been; because why wouldn't Voldemort send his best spy to capture the bait the Order had set for him at St. Mungo's Annual Gala Fundraiser? It should have been Regulus there, bumping into Marlene. As good at her craft as she was, she'd been so surprised when that bloody bastard Malfoy had come at her instead that she'd nearly let him run a knife across her throat.

Her soul mark had burned itself out the very night Marlene had come to realize that she may not have a chance to watch it grow again. She'd watched it consume itself as she made her way through a bottle of whisky. She couldn't think of a reality where this happened but he wasn't gone too.

"I don't know what to say," Marlene said quietly. "I need my candle in the night."

* * *

**Stacked with:** Hogwarts; Winter Bingo; MC4A

**Individual Challenge(s): **More Than England; Gryffindor MC; Slytherin MC; Bow Before the Blacks; Brush; Winter Wonderland; Seeds; Tissue Warning; Minerva's Migraine; Old Shoes; Trope it Up A (Enemies to Friends to Lovers); Themes & Things A (Secrets); Themes & Things B (Risk); Themes & Things C (Dressing gown/robe); Themes & Things E (Evening Gown/Tux); Old Flames; Rian-Russo Inversion; Short Jog; Yellow Ribbon; Yellow Ribbon Redux

**Word Count:** 3053

* * *

_**Winter Bingo **_

**Space (Prompt): **4B (Candle)


End file.
